No shoulders to grab on

            Hypothetically, I'm a loser. There. I said it out loud. Not exactly. I typed it out in bold. Talking about being sarcastic. It has been days, weeks now, that I've been supressing my feelings. Atleast trying to. Since it's really hard to keep quiet for so long about something that you can't actually hold on to.

            When there is no one for you to hold, or actually anything for to rely on, I must say, there would be none than an inch think of strength in me now. Forcing myself to do something that I have no interest in. Or even trying to hold in the madness in me that I have towards the people around me, it's really tenseful.

            Though I know so well, no matter how much I whine about them, I would still have to go through all those things. Have been thinking that wasting my time crying and grumbling about it would not make things any better. Unfortunately, saying is always easier than doing.

            When I thought I've found someone to depend on, to wet her shoulders with my tears, to mess around her brain with my complains, she went off. I could not protest any of her doings cause she came to me when she needed me, maybe she just decided that she doesn's need me any longer. I'll adapt with the situations of being dumped. Since it happened for so many times.

            I don't want to whine no more. It hurts. Literally.

An-Zurie Ayesya, please stop whining.

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