Eyes Opened Wide, Heart Opened Wider, Mind Got Wiser

            Although I think that the title has said it all, I'm pretty sure I have a lot more to say. There's a saying that goes as 'Experience is the best teacher'  and I'm 100% confident that every each of you has heard of this saying. This is one of the things that we've known for years and never bother to argue about it. Nevertheless we also never actually bother about the truth hidden behind these sayings. In Malay; 'Jauh perjalanan luas pemandangan' is quite accurate with the previous idiom. This 'pepatah' in Malay means when we travel more, we experience more on other things that we've never experienced before.

            For all those 19 years of my life, I've never had any doubt in these sayings. Cause I've pretty much lived through these sayings. Experiences that I had since I was 7 till now had been the best teacher that taught me anything and everything that one could learn. I could say that I'm proud of how independent I turned to be. I mean. I was proud of that. Not anymore though. As I get to know more people in my life, coming from the west or the south of the world. Whether it's the East Coast of the country, those people opened my eyes wider about other people who may never have the same path as my life. They lead their life differently, they have been carved differently, they also have been taught differently. Or in my case, by different teacher.

            I never used to care so much about these things when I was younger cause back then I only know how to blame them who cause the problems and ups and downs I had in my life. I used to calm myself down by letting myself know atleast I get to be independent. At least, somehow the problems made me stronger. At least, I learned how to live without depending on other peoples' attention and concerns. At least, that's what I told myself years ago.

           As I get to know more people and listened to their stories, my heart set on jealousy by bits of particles. I tried handling them better, but somehow tonight I'm letting go of my grip and just let my tears fall. When they tell them how they miss their mother's cooking, I said to myself, that's one of the feeling that I'll never know. When they came from home, they shared stories about their brothers, that is another feeling that I'll never know. There are 1001 things that I've always wished I could feel the same, but I know, it will never happened. Call me pessimistic, I'm just being a realist. That's how I've been brought up.

Have always been this way, but never this weak,