Idiosyncrasy

Aku dalam dilema yang menyesakkan nafas, membengkakkan otak dan menyakitkan hati. Kenapa setiap kali dalam sesebuah pemilihan tuh menjadikan hidup kau miserable? Maybe bukan kau, tapi aku yakin dan arif bahawa 98.9% orang dalam dunia nih akan mendapat tekanan perasaan dalam bab-bab memilih. Secara general, benda-benda harian yang kau lalui, choice kau utk menu lunch harini, atau apa yang patut kau masak utk suami kau yang bakal pulang dari kerja dengan muka tension dan keletihan menyelubungi diri lepas stuck dalam jam for hours. Yang berbeza hanya level tekanan perasaan kau dan the way you tackle the problem. Kau orang semua tahu, pilihan yang kau dah highlight tuh, akan determine the way your life goes until the next choices comes to you. Dan sehingga itu, apa saja kesan, buruk baik, tahi atau bunga, you made your own choice kan? So kau nak blame siapa kalau kau salah pilih? Apa-apa je keadaan, lelaki nak pilih isteri, perempuan nak pilih laki, mak nak pilih menantu, bos nak pilih e...

Not dissing anyone in particular, just having a full analysis of myself, myself and only. It has been ages since my days with people in surrounding having a British accent, remarkable vocabs, and definitely people to correct my imperfection in English. Not that my English was horrible that I have to walk around with dictionaries in my hand and have my grammar corrected by anyone who walks by, but they thought I was. I think I've changed those Caucasian's and Maori's thoughts. Not so much difference here, we talk in English just no so much, thus my English starts to fade eventually. Not totally, but probably half of them. I'm using simple vocabs, and sometimes I still misspelled, which somehow quite embarrassing for me cause I used to excel in my English with flying colours. I have grammar mistakes too, that sure puts me in deep confusion. It is possible, to be losing your ability in anything. I mean, today you might be a math geek and who knows in 3 years time you m...

Oh God. It's not that I disagree of whatever she claims she wants. Just, the way she put the words and say it out loud makes me shiver for a second or 5 seconds at least. "I don't want to see you here next year, you may go wherever you want, just not here." That's what she said. No, I didn't do anything wrong, or yet. She wants me to study abroad next year. Putting that much hope in me did make me proud, but again, am I able to achieve the goals? I have nothing wrong with the idea, me myself would really want to go somewhere snowy and chilly for the studies in the future. I'm thinking of Ireland, the accent just let me fall in love deep into the idea of going there for dentistry. Or even United Kingdom. I love English and British! Kingston University might be best for Marine Biology courses. Praying to God of course or the best results and all the help that could get me with my dreams and goals. This is only the basic phase of my life, where all the pla...

Sebab title post kali nih mengenai anak Melayu, jadi aku akan menaip dalam bahasa Melayu. Kira-kira pada pukul 1630, Sabtu, 12 September 2009 dimana aku dalam perjalanan nak pulang ke rumah. Sebagai anak watan yang masih belum berkemampuan nak membeli sebuah kereta untuk mengulang alik kemana sahaja, jadi pilihan terbaik adalah LRT. Dari Masjid Jamek ke Wangsa Maju, dengan tiket plastik yang dah usang kerana di guna mungkin berpuluh-puluh kali oleh berbagai jenis manusia yang berharga RM2.10, aku yang ibarat sudah tercabut urat betis akibat perjalanan yang amat jauh untuk menemani kakak tiri aku untuk mencari sehelai tudung yang berharga RM10, mengucap kata syukur sebab masih terdapat tempat duduk utk aku melabuhkan punggung. Akibat penat yang teramat, aku tak mengeluarkan sepatah kata dengan kakak tiri ku itu, walaupun untuk menegur bagaimana dia tersengguk-sengguk dalam tren sebab mengantuk. Namun aku tetap memasang telinga dan mata ku tetap melilau sekitar tren tersebut. Berada 2 ...

All the problems have been settled. True, I need to lower down my ego and just make the call. Although I'm hoping that I won't be the only one that dropped down my ego in the future and I'm not regretting the stuff I jot down cause, its kinda the reason we are talking again. So now, no more problems at the moment, except for my major examination. SPM. 48 days to go peeps, roll up your sleeves and prepare to read!  Not actually reading myself :P ,

I am in a situation where I feel so annoyed with what happened around me. Though I admit, this is not the best move I've taken to show off my maturity. Knowing I've been lied right in front of my face for the whole 2 months was overwhelming, yet as I said before, being an ass for 3 days in a row by not calling, or even bother to hi wasn't the best thing to do. The news did hit me pretty bad, since I'm so closed to him as I thought we were best friends. He gave an excuse but it wasn't enough. I have my own reasons to feel hurt deeply, but sooner or later I will come to my senses and give him a call to say sorry for being too emotional about the whole thing. Soon, hopefully. I don't wanna think back that a highly foolish and immature action that call our friendship to an end. I am annoyed, not with him, but the other 'friend' of mine. I wouldn't call her as a friend actually, since she never thinks me as hers. I used to care so much of her, I forgo...

Sorry, bukan pandai sangat dialek kedah nih. Sikit-sikit boleh lah. Nak cerita sikit benda yang aku fed up sangat since the day of exam started. Umm..tak jugak..2 weeks after exam started. Elok2 dalam kelas, SPM candidates science stream kena pindah masuk dewan pulak lepas budak PMR abes exam. Oklah, seronok jugak, sebab dpt duduk sebelah "ehem2" and asyik berpegangan tangan (padahal passing stapler je =_=") Dia nak bukak mulut nak pinjam stapler dengan aku pon dah cukup baik. Opss, back to the main point. Nak dijadikan cerita, aku duk depan sekali, and tak tau lah pasal apa, rasa tak seronok sangat. Mainly sebab hamba ALLAH kelas 5E sangat lah menyakitkan hati, memekakkan telinga dan menyemakkan kepala. Kalau tak bersiul, bercakap, kalau tak bergendang, main pen. Siap meniru! Hey, bukan main tuduh kot sedap mulut, memang terbukti sah. Tapi kalau aku bagitau pon macam tak guna, cause no one actually care. Tuh bosan exam dlm dewan! ARGGGHHH! Memang ikutkan hati aku nak t...